The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?/Issue 9
Issue 9 of The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?. Published on April 25, 2014. Last Issue: Issue 8 - Next Issue Issue 10 Plot Synopsis Masta double clothslines Grave and Hippo and places them flat on their asses. He successfully ties them to two chairs in the middle of the ring. Hippo and Grave are confused as fuck. Ghost comes barraging through the doors that were poorly barricaded, with the pistol and an iron pipe. He struts his stuff into the ring, and hugs Masta around the neck. Ghost: We pulled it off, broski! Sooner or later the wiki is ours! Masta: You bet! It was so worth it. Explain to these mongs why we did this whilst I tie up my shoelace. Masta notices his shoelace is untied. He bends down to tie it up. Ghost shoves the pistol straight up Masta’s asshole and fires. Masta collapses in the middle of the ring, writhing in pain. Hippo and Grave look on in shock. Ghost then grabs the pipe he had and also shoves that up Masta’s ass, so far that it eventually comes out of Masta’s mouth. Ghost then flings Masta over the top rope and out of the ring. Ghost sadistically smiles after butchering Masta’s anus. He turns his attention back to Grave and Hippo. Ghost: So you’re probably wondering what’s going on… Hippo: So…you killed everyone and your co-conspirator, and now you’re gonna kill us? What the fuck for? Grave’s eye starts twitching as Ghost prepares a response. Ghost: So I was in a dead chat one day with Masta. We started to PM. ‘Hey, wanna RP?’ I said. One thing lead to another, and we started talking about Grave and Kaley. How they think they are SOOOOOOO much better than us because they are admins. Now, Grave and Kaley were my best wiki friends when I joined. We all became active at the same time. We all kinda edited the same amounts, we all talk on blogs the same amounts, but for some FUCKING REASON, they get admin…and I didn’t. Maybe it’s because I don’t edit the main pages that often, but like you always say, Grave, edits don’t matter. Hippo: So you’re saying that you killed everyone because you didn’t get admin? Ghost: Yes, exactly. I was aware of Masta living close to Grave, and I told him to go to Grave’s house and murder him, so I could apply for admin once he starts becoming inactive. He wasn’t having any of it. I told him that I would pay him…he said he didn’t need the money, since he was a lottery winning millionaire. I came up with an idea. Invite everyone here with Masta’s money and kill them so ‘the two of us’ could get admin. Hippo: So all of this was improv…you guys had no plan, just invite everyone and murder them? Ghost: You kidding me? I came here a month ago to plan how this shit would go down. Sidney didn’t suspect a thing. Masta took me to Grave’s house, and showed me where he lived. I thought of jumping the fence and killing him…but I had to go. Hippo: So this whole time, you played all of us. The both of you. Ghost: Yep. Grave: Ssso why did you kkkill Masta? Ghost smacks Grave across the face. Hippo lunges in on his seat and bites Ghost on the dick. Ghost yanks back, and is writhing in pain on the floor. Ghost: I’ve always hated you, Hippo! Ghost picks up the pistol and shoots Hippo in the crotch. Hippo: '''Yowza! '''Ghost: Continuing on with my story…obviously there were some obstacles along the way…like you coming into the house. We didn’t invite you for a reason. I was gonna come to your house, murder you, and on your wiki account put in a good word for myself, and make you retire. Obviously, that can’t happen anymore…WHICH REALLY FUCKING SUCKS DICBUTT. I’m not just gonna run into your house right after you disappear, that’s just idiotic. Grave: You didn’t answer my question! Wwhy did you kill Masta? Ghost: Well…this was all my idea. I pretended that I was gonna elevate Masta to admin with my plan. I just wanted to use him and his house to help me get to the top. What a silly, silly boy he is. It made sense to him anyway. Grave and Kaley gone, enter Ghost and Masta. Hippo: So, why are you so sure that you will get admin? Ghost: By doing this, I have killed every threat to that role plus their stupid little followers that wouldn’t see me as an admin and would nominate themselves. Oh, and Naruto. I just wanted to kill Naruto. Hippo: I would too. Grave: ^ Ghost: So on this trip I managed to get Kaley’s wiki password. I was planning on just interrogating her, but since I was her boyfriend, it was much easier to obtain such info. With Masta’s laptop, I logged in on her account on the fuckin plane ride and resigned. Grave, if you weren’t here, getting your password would be a lot easier. But now that you are here, I’m gonna need you to tell me your password. Or else. Grave: Or else what? You’re gonna kill me anyway. Ghost starts to twist Grave’s fragile titties. Grave submits almost immediately. Grave: Sheldon1114! Sheldon1114! Ghost: DOES SHELDON HAVE A CAPITAL?!? Grave: YES OH GOD YES STOP PLEASE Ghost stops twisting Grave’s tits. He slides out of the ring, goes to the laptop which is sitting on a plastic chair at ringside, goes on TWD wiki and enters in Grave’s password, and it works. Ghost logs out back into his account and shuts the computer. Ghost gets back into the ring. Ghost: Easier than expected…anyway, since Masta has a wireless modem on his laptop, I’ve secretly been speaking to b-crat Riley about me replacing Kaley, and he said that it’s a fair maybe since no other people have come forward in the past day. Masta hasn’t been going on his account for the since we started killing you all, so it’s easier to resign him. He ain’t been going on chat and debating why he should be admin like me. I have his password too, by the way. Ghost slides out of the ring, and goes and picks up the laptop. The laptop is near Masta’s bloody corpse. Ghost opens up a new tab, which appears to be a timer. Ghost: Oh, by the way, to remove all evidence of this happening and your bodies, Masta rigged this place to blow. I have a motel to stay at tonight and a plane to catch soon…I have planned this out really well. Thank god I have the key to the front door though! HUE HUE HUE! Ghost runs out the VIEWING ROOM door, and makes it to the lobby. He unlocks the front door with the key and quickly exits, leaving the front door open. On his laptop, there is 4 minutes 20 seconds to escape. Hippo: Well…I guess this is goodbye, Grave. We got out smarted by two fgts. Grave: Hippo…I’m…having…a…seizure. Hippo: And my dick is bleeding, get the fuck over it. Suddenly, Hippo gets an idea, and Grave starts to have a seizure. Hippo: When Lee tried to kill everyone, and Grave was tied up…his seizure broke out of being tied up like this…and… Grave breaks free from the ties, but is still having a seizure. Hippo: Holy shit he’s done it again. How the fuck do I get this guy to wake up?!? Hippo starts thinking. Hippo: I know! GRAVE, HEY, GRAVELORD! JESUS DIES IN ISSUE 126! (Editors note: This was written before #126, around April 17 probably.) Grave stops having a seizure. He leaps up back onto his feet. Grave: HE FUCKKIN WOT MATE? Hippo: RUN! GET OUTTA HERE! YOU ONLY GOT A MINUTE UNTIL WE BLOW UP! Grave comes to his senses. Grave: What about you? Hippo: Don’t worry about me! JUST GET OUTTA HERE AND STOP GHOST BEFORE HIS PLAN WORKS! Grave waves goodbye to Hippo as he starts racing out of the VIEWING ROOM. He runs down the Masta hallway, and makes it to the lobby, where he finds the front door wide open. Grave makes the escape and starts running down Masta’s front lawns up to his fence, which he successfully jumps over. Grave looks back at the house. It blows up to pieces, and a mushroom cloud is formed. Grave shreds a tear as he starts running down the street, with fire trucks and police men speeding past him. Tl;dr: Ghost and Masta killed everyone because they were threats to getting admin due to being jealous of Grave and Kaley. All the people they invited they saw as ‘threats’ or ‘obstacles’ to achieving their goal. Ghost used Masta due to his ability to make this happen (his money, his mansion, and his local connection to Grave) and also saw him as a threat, so he killed him. Now, after resigning Kaley and planning to resign Grave, Ghost can be the only regular wiki user left and can put out a good impression to help him get admin. Just to Clarify Ghost killed victims: *Kaley (Killed her after seducing her to bed. Almost got caught by Hippo.) *Tommy (Killed him whilst the lights were shut out.) *Derk (Whilst the lights were shut out again, followed him and killed him. Masta put his head on the pole while Ghost ran off to regroup.) *Katie *Masta *Hippo (Masta may have rigged the explosives and tied Hippo to a chair, but Ghost detonated them.) Masta killed victims: *Naruto (After faking his death, Masta made sure to kill the most annoying invitee first.) *Cam (Masta found Cam's body lying around just waiting to be killed, so he took advantage of the opportunity.) *Sidney (Whilst Ghost was killing Tommy, Masta killed Sidney and cut off her head and put it in the jar. After he did this, he had time to put Derk's head on the pole.) Other victims: *Dom *Juan *Lee Credits *Grave *Hippo *Ghost *Masta Deaths *Masta (Butt tortured by Ghost) *Hippo (Blown up in the mansion by Ghost) Trivia *Sorry for taking waaay too long to publish this issue. Even though its been ready for over a week I just hadn't gotten round to it yet. Category:Masta Category:Issues Category:Whodunit? Issues